Andrew Auten

Andrew Auten was, at some point born, and lived in various places including New Jersey which explains the smell, he hopes. Since then, he has never (to his knowledge) owned an armoire although he has been in a vestibule(*).

During the pandemic (not the one you're thinking of but a time during which he could not find a pan), Andrew and his partner, Christine, founded The United Projects Alliance. She knew where the pan was but never found the right moment to tell him because of the pandemic (the one you're thinking of). She told her friend, Betty(**) where the pan was.

The UPA is located in Truth Or Consequences in a storefront shop that can (supposedly) cure bed-head, a process having something to do with magnets in the earth(***).

In his spare time he, Andrew, remembers things but it is not unique.

(*) citation needed

(**) you don't know her

(***) not true